History lesson

Today a seventh grade student came up to me before third period. I was waiting for class to start and Okomoto-sensei was not there yet. This kid asked me where I was from.

I said, “I am from Washington State.” I speak in full sentences to help them with their English. I also do something I don’t usually do, I enunciate.

He said, half way asking, “United States?”

I said, “Yes, I am from the United States.”

He then said, “New York. Terrorism. Today.” His attention was drawn to the board behind me and there was a calendar in Japanese, but I found the date. Today was 9/11. It wasn’t until then that I realized what the date was.

He had all of the key words. I knew what he wanted to say; he just couldn’t form a sentence. Just yesterday, I saw this kid running to his first period class, trip and fall as the tardy bell rang. Then in the afternoon, the teachers brought him into the teachers’ office and were calling on the carpet for not doing his work. They told him no more excuses. Now, today he was trying to engage me in a conversation, a conversation that was beyond both of our abilities.

I felt sad almost depressed, but in a weird sort of way. I wasn’t sad because of the anniversary, although that was definitely a part of my feelings. What struck me was what I have lost or given up this year. As a teacher, I have given up all of the relationships that I would have developed this year with my students.

Every year, as a teacher I develop relationships with students. Teaching at the middle school level is not so much about teaching subject matter. It is about building relationships, social awareness and confidence. This is an age where students turn from robots performing little tricks into people with minds of their own. I know at home this age is a time of rebellion, but I remember when I was in junior high and later high school. It was as if someone turned the lights on. All of a sudden, I could think for myself. A middle school teacher guides these kids through this time of life. It is challenging but very rewarding.

As this kid tried to talk, it hit me. I would not engage with these kids at the same level I do back in the states. I knew this coming into Japan, but the emotions of it had not really hit. Already there are 10 kids from the 7th to 9th grades who have reached out. They have tried to make themselves known to me. They try hard to communicate, but they find it frustrating. I find it difficult too. This kid had communicated with me. I knew what he felt. I knew what he meant. It was I who couldn’t communicate with him.

September 11 is an easy day to remember. I remember the kids coming into school and the anxiety that we all felt. They had questions and I had more questions. We talked through the emotions of that day and that week. That 7th grade class just graduated this year. Even a year or two later, the kids and I talked each other through the events that we had witnessed. Three or four years later I recognized that 9/11 was like Pearl Harbor to them. It was something that had happened. They didn’t know exactly what it was or why it was important, but like good little robots they could tell me some facts about it.

Every year, kids come to me with things that are affecting their lives. Many things kids face are quite trivial. Some things kids face would kill me if I had the same issues, but I try to help. I will try to communicate and share my experiences with them. I try to help them through the important parts of life. I have seen things before, things that are new to them I see everyday. I try to show them that there are people who care and understand. This year will be very difficult. It will be tough to engage with the students beyond my complete sentences and enunciation. I think some kids will understand. I hope also that some will feel that they are understood.